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◀ Monday, November 21, 2011

Listening to YMAS and feeling a tad bit annoyed at how much it relates to you. "You were the first one I loved, you were the first love I lost."

I hate you. I hate that you were the one that changed me and my mindsets on love and forever, yet you were the one that left first. I hate that you left me. You were never supposed to leave... so why did you? I hate that you got over things so fast, leaving me to pick up the pieces on my own. I hate you for finding someone else so quickly to replace me. Whatever happened to the plans we made for our futures together? Sometimes I really wonder what would have been if we stuck to the supposed plan on the day we broke up. Would we still be together? Or would we have split up eventually? I guess things take place for a reason.

If you're doing well, I'm glad for you. If you're not, I hope you'll be. It was always in me to make sure you were good and happy. I suppose you weren't happy being with me after a while, which is why you left for someone that made you happier. Those nights I spent crying alone in bed for you, did you spend them in her bed? It still fucking pains me, but you'll never need to know.

I'm sorry I've been acting like such a giant prick whenever I see you, but it's only to cover up for all my insecurities.