rememberingsunday ◀ Tuesday, July 02, 2013
Maybe writing everything down is my therapy. Popped a pill at about 12 noon and I think it has worn off because I started crying during dinner. Yes, again. When Zack and I broke up, I didn't need any of these. I didn't need sleeping pills, I didn't need pills to calm me down, I didn't feel like puking out my food before even eating. The effect that you, Linus, have on me is just.. overwhelming. I guess that's what three years of being in love does to one.
I'm listening to Remembering Sunday and thinking about all those times, close to six years ago, when I'd play that song on repeat while you fell asleep on my shoulders in the bus. You asked me if I believed in love but I didn't know what to answer back then. Little did I know that you would turn out to be the person, three years later, I'd grow to love the most. The love of my life. Remember when I cried during ATL's first show here in 2011 when they performed this song? And you were quite embarrassed because tears were streaming down my face? I do not regret any of those tears. I started thinking of our past and how lucky I was to still have you by my side then. Of course that was close to two years back. I don't know what to make of our (lack of?) relationship now.
I really miss you. I miss talking to you about everything and anything. I miss listening to music with you on our way home. I miss waking up to your bed hair and smelly breath. I miss your soap-y detergent-y smell. I just miss everything about you. It's been about a week. Come back soon xx